Thursday, November 14, 2013

Mom-Mommy-Mama (A name I wanted so bad)

We tried the fertility/IVF route for around 2 years and when we were done, we were done!  No more medication, no more bloating,  no more nausea, no more weight gain (well due to medication), no more heartache (related to pregnancy).  We started discussing adoption as a way to grow our family.  I of course was all for it.  AZ took a little talking to about it.  He had a hard time with feeling like someone else's child could be considered his.  We prayed and talked and talked and prayed.  We talked to other couples that had gone through the adoption process, we talked to family, we talked to friends.  Then we set up a meeting with the local Catholic Charities.  They signed us on and so began the process.  First we both had to get physicals, back ground checks, we had to prepare a birthmother(parent) letter, and schedule a homestudy.  The homestudy was not as bad as I had read about.  The social worker comes into your house and talks to each potential parent separate and then together, they do a tour of your house, get your  views on raising a child, your religion preference, how you will parent, will you work outside the home, etc.  They look at your financial status and review your physicals and background checks.  The social worker then goes and writes up a report of things discussed, what she saw, and information she gathered.  Some homestudies consist of more than 1 visit.  Because Catholic Charities told us in the beginning their placement time is longer than most would imagine, we began telling EVERYONE we knew that we were planning to adopt.  Between September 2006 and March 2007, we had visited with and been matched with 2 different prospective birthmothers.   In the end, they were not carrying the babies GOD intended for us to have and failed.  In March though we got a call from a wonderful distant relative and family friend who knew how bad we wanted to start our family.  She was working one day as a school nurse and overheard the secretary she worked with talking about her granddaughter being pregnant and considering adoption.  Cathy became an angel this day and told this secretary about us and within 2 days we were driving 4+ hours to meet S & N.  It is hard to describe what nervousness AZ and I both felt.  We actually said, if this doesn't work out we will leave the road to adoption.  We were meeting the birthparents at a school office.  When we walked in, we were greeted with a hug by the birthmothers Grandmother (relief).  As we walked into the office and saw this young couple sitting at the table, we both admit now that we both felt a peace come over us.  We found out she was due within a short couple of months with a baby girl.  We talked for a couple hours telling them how we met, what we have gone through to have a family, and what we want for the future.  After just those couple of hours, they both said they knew we were supposed to have that baby girl and they felt a relief after meeting us in person.  So began the craziness of finding an adoption attorney in order to fulfill this private adoption.  Our attorney was amazing and so helpful.  I really felt like she explained things and helped us accomplish what needed to be done before the baby arrived.  We visited the birthparents one more time before we got THE CALL! 
On May 15, 2007 I was at work in the Heart Cath Lab at the hospital in town.  AZ was working away too.  My mom called not too long after I got to work that day and said Cathy had called and S was in labor.  Of course all of my coworkers knew we were just waiting on the call, so when that call came they pushed me out the door.  I met AZ and my mom (of course) at home and off we drove 4 hours (made it in 3) to the hospital.  I had my camera, my video camera, and a nervous/excited feeling in tow!  We were able to see S before she became too uncomfortable, but we weren't there long when it was time for her to push. 

I was so honored that she asked me to be in the delivery and see this precious little girl come into the world.  The delivery was very fast and Abby was born!  What an amazing experience.  N cut the cord and she was taken to the warmer.  Out came my camera(s) along with the ohs and aws. 




We were able to stay in a room right next door for the night and we kept Abby in the room with us to soak it all up!  S couldn't sign the papers until at least 24 hours after she was born.  We made several trips back and forth to visit and share her with them.  The next day, our attorney came with the papers and they were signed.  This truly was the most unselfish thing I have ever witnessed.  S is the strongest woman I know and I will forever be grateful to her and to N.  We will love, cherish, and raise Abby knowing how much she is loved by so many people.  We couldn't finalize the adoption for 30 days after her birth, so when that time came we went to the county courthouse in the county that S lived and she was finally officially ours!  We made sure to stop by S and N house for a visit and introduce Abby to her birth brother and birth sister.  S had told us at one of her appointments, they were in the waiting room when a lady asked her son if he was getting a baby brother or baby sister.  He said to her its a sister, but we're giving her to someone else.  Such a cute story and to realize what a gift they were giving!

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